Sex Toy, or Child’s Toy? Both…Maybe?

Most of us use accoutrements to spice up our sex lives, whether it’s a sex life you have with yourself (and your hand) or a significant other. Well, I have a lot of accoutrements: costumes (lingerie), dildos, vibrators, cock rings, porn. You name it, I’ve got it. I even have a fuck ramp; two in fact.

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“What is a fuck ramp?” you ask.

Well, a fuck ramp is essentially a giant wedge-shaped piece of foam that is encased in a removable velvet cover (for easy washing, of course). They assist in maximizing pleasure by mixing up positioning as well as the angle of penetration and impact of thrust.

I have a large fuck ramp (36” x 24” x 14”) and a smaller one, which is really more like a wedge (24” x 14” x 7”). I store my them deep in my walk-in closet, behind long dresses. Despite their disguised location, Ella found them when she was 3 or 4 years old. Like any young child, she quickly repurposed them for her own use. They became her dedicated somersault ramps. And while it’s usually a good idea to have dual purposes for the things in your house, in this case, it’s not. Thinking about your kid playing on something where you regularly get pounded really kills the mood.

 

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