A lot of men are under the impression that women want sex to last a long time. While that is sometimes the case, once you have been married for about ten years and have “hit that” in about every position using every hole (or at least the holes you are willing to use…see the Blog Never Say Never: Anal Sex), the joy of sex diminishes. The orgasm is still great, and so is the feeling. But you just don’t need it to last more than 10 minutes.
Sex That Needed to End
One evening when we were in our early 30s, before Matthew really understood this reality, he and I were getting busy. The sex was good, really good, but it didn’t seem to be coming to an end. I’m talking after 30 minutes, there was no sign of a conclusion. I tried everything. I was sexy with my moans; adamant with my verbalizations: “Oh my God,” “You are so hard,” “I love feeling you drive into me.” I tried every position. It just wasn’t happening. He wasn’t even showing signs the he might have an orgasm. I was getting the feeling this was going to continue forever. And that scared me, so I finally told him I was done. I was sore, raw, and exhausted. There was nothing else I could have done to help him finish.
And Matthew, a little surprised that I didn’t want it to continue, told me proudly that he has covered his dick in lidocaine about 20 minutes before we had sex. Yes, he had numbed his dick so he could last longer. I’ll say that again, because it is shocking. He numbed his dick, so he could last longer. I just looked at him, eyes wide open, thinking, “Why the fuck would I want that? Now my pussy is raw.”
The generous thought was there, and much appreciated. But really, no married woman wants to get it on for that long. Remember that, boys.