Never Say Never I: Kids

People always say to “Never say never,” because you have no idea where life will take you and what you will do in certain situations. But there were some things that I was sure I would never do, so I took great pleasure in saying “never will I ever do ….” And sure enough, every single time I have said “Never” it has come to bite me in the ass. I have had to eat my words.

Keep Them Alive

My first Never-Say-Never gaffe was saying I wouldn’t have kids. Honestly, I’ve never really liked kids. Not babies, not toddlers. Not teenagers. When all my friends were babysitting to make money, I mowed lawns. And when I did babysit, it was for only close friends of the family who had kids that were old enough to “play.” Essentially the parents were paying me to ensure their kids didn’t die while in my care (kind of like how it is when fathers watch their children). So I played with them. We ran in the sprinklers, climbed on the swing set, chased each other playing tag, rode bikes. Never once did I lose a child to accidental death. (Though one kid did get locked in a bathroom once for an hour.) But I still consider my track record a success!

The Changing of a Mind

Thus, I was certain that I would never have kids. When I was dating my now-husband, I told him that. He was sure I would change my mind, but he never pushed and he waited patiently. We had been married six years (together nine) and had talked more and more about kids. I was willing to give it a try. (This kind of sounds like I’m considering something like eating sushi for the first time or going on a scary roller coaster, right?!) I wouldn’t hate my own kid…would I? Turns out that no, I did not hate my own kids. I love them more than my own life. I would do anything for them. A parent’s love for her child is unlike any emotional tie on Earth; it is truly a limitless bond. (Sorry, enough mush.)

#OtherPeople’sKidsAreAnnoying

So I got pregnant and had a kid. Since my first daughter Ellie arrived, I have amended my “I don’t like kids” mantra. It’s now “I don’t like other people’s kids.” That’s not to say I hate them. I love my nieces and nephews. And I enjoy my children’s friends (most of them) and the children of my own friends. But I just have no desire to hold new babies, watch my friends’ kids, or spend a long periods of time with any one of them. Or a group of them. Ever. Because, really, most kids are annoying.

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